So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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