Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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