Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
