my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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