Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
