So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
