no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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