omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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