Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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(302): View more from Delaware

and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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(815): View more from Illinois

it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her

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(216): View more from Ohio

fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Jesus...So southern.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom

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(585): View more from New York

He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.

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(310): View more from California

Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!

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