i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
