hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
