How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
