We won't sleep together?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
