If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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