im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
why does every cop we meet know your name?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
