dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
