They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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