i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
