I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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