I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
