clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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