All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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