they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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