i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.