he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across