On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
