Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
