she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
