these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I want to fling myself into the sun
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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