I just saw a hot homeless man
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
