Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
