everyone is single if you try hard enough
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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