I feel great
I just peed on a car
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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