I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
