Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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