I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
