oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
no you cant smoke seaweed
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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