she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
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............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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