There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize