apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
