Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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