so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
