Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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(410): View more from Maryland

i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving

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(778): View more from British Columbia

we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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(661): View more from California

The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.

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(303): View more from Colorado

who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.

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