everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.