Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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(303): View more from Colorado

once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

(303): View more from Colorado

oh and he was serious.

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(716): View more from New York

Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

You got my ass fired just for knowing you

(479): View more from Arkansas

thanks for the bacon

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.

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(712): View more from Iowa

But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today

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(705): View more from Ontario

Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower

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