32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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