Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?