dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.