While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
