I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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