At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
