I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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