Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
