Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I supernannyed him into submission
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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