I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
