you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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