we have pet lesbian snakes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As shirtless as possible
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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