I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
