She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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