I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
