i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
