bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
