I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
