Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
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did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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