He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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