Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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