dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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