Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
