He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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