i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
