just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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