Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
