M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
