He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
All the doctor said was why
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize