I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
