I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
