is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
