he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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