A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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