She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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