the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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