Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
